I feel a lot of the time I am giving at the moment – to my children, to the house work, to my husband (not nearly enough). I am trying to keep all the minds and bodies of my home happy, with clean clothes, a tidy, healthy home, good food, stimulating activities for mind and bodies. I ensure I eat fairly well and retire to bed early each night (though my sleep is interrupted). It’s all about making sure all the bases are covered – but I often feel like I’m only just making it and often a home run is rare.
This past year my husband and I have had so little time together. I actually ‘miss him’, as I know he misses me. I’ve not had the energy to give enough to him, though deep down of course I love him. We’ve not had a single night out together, just the two of us, in over a year. Most of our conversations are hurried over breakfast, dinner and around putting the children to bed – frequently interrupted and incomplete. Occasionally I stay up to watch a movie with him, but frequently I’m in bed soon after the children. I am just surviving.
I know this situation is temporary, but I feel like at times it’s all spinning out of my control and I am going to get lost somewhere in all this giving (and never feeling like I’m giving enough to everyone).
Sometimes I dream of running away from everything.
Then this week I had half an hour of time to remember ‘me’. I deliberately didn’t return to the house after school drop off – knowing the housework would taunt me relentlessly, whilst Alice made mess as fast as I cleaned.
I went to Te Papa. Alice fell unexpectedly and peacefully to sleep in her buggy. I ventured up to the art gallery and slipped into the photographic world travels of ‘Brian Brake‘, and there I found ‘me’ – just for a moment.
Visit ‘The Gallery‘ to see other bloggers ‘Simple Pleasures’.