‘Have fun, enjoy!’ he says, as I head out the door,
I respond with a forced smile and a nod.
I’m not sure that I am running for ‘fun’,
But if it’s not fun, why the hell am I doing it?!
I run to feel free, I run to feel pain, I run to feel alive,
I run, because I can.
I run to clear my head, to keep sane and strong.
I set myself goals, half marathons and more,
I push myself harder, up hills, longer distances, a quicker pace,
If it feels too easy, I push some more -
Why? To feel every part of my body and to challenge my mind,
to push on through the pain and earn my rewards –
a chocolate slice or a glass of wine,
a soak in the bath or splash in the sea.
I feel exhausted afterwards, but free of tension.
My mind is calm and my body free of nervous energy.
Occasionally, when I feel strong, in the moment –
When running full throttle, with the wind at my back.
Yes, it can be fun, but mostly, it’s hard work.
The fun comes after, with the satisfaction of achievement –
as I stretch out tired limbs on the beach, enjoying a sunset.
The fun is feeling a breeze on my face,
when I stop to take in the view, after a lung busting hill climb.
When I feel like shouting,
‘Yes! I’m here! In the moment! So alive!’.
The fun is in knowing I feel fit and healthy,
And can keep up with the children & go exploring.
Most importantly of all, I am more fun for running,
for taking the time to quieten my mind –
To stay sane and keep strong.
Until I find something else -
But for now, running it is –
though fun, I’m not sure :/ !
Linking up with a couple of lovely blogs -