It’s been a strange week of documenting every slice of life for ‘Week in the life‘ – but great to reflect and observe our life too.
Today it’s raining. I’m tired. Alice was awake for a couple of hours in the night (again) – over stimulated probably – late to bed (she’s making up for it with a nap in the day, but would probably be better adjusting to a longer sleep at night). I was asleep when Charlotte and Dan left at 8am – catching up on lost sleep.
I’m heading out the door soon, to meet with a lovely group of home-schoolers, to watch ‘Round the World and Buck Again‘ at Capital E. I’m sure my inner smile will be back soon. Right now, I’m struggling.
I’ve managed breakfast and encouraged Sophie and Alice to eat something. They are nearly dressed and ready to go. I’ve tackled the dishes and cleaned the kitchen bench top. The washing machine is whirling. I’m going through the motions. Tired. It’s mornings like this that the medication I take for mild depression doesn’t touch the surface. Tears are hiding in my eyes, threatening to spill.
I put on some make-up, even dressed my ears with a little sparkle, but the mask isn’t helping to bring out the inner shine.
I look at the flowers on the window-sill. It is the little things that give me strength. I sigh at the baked beans and noodles still on the kitchen floor from the day before. I scrub it clean, trying not to let the never-ending domesticity of stay at home parenting bring me down further.
I glance at the neat work Sophie did yesterday morning (and try not to be too concerned that she’s watching TV now – I don’t have the strength this morning).
I smile at the craziness of it all. At Alice asking for rice and noodles at 4.30am (I said no – and made them for her later when the sun was up) and cats whiskers to be drawn on her face (I relented).
I’d better go. I’m sure once we’re out the door the day will improve. The rain doesn’t look very welcoming. We’ll be out for the day – picking Charlotte up from school at the opposite side of town at 3pm. Sophie keeps telling me her tummy is sore. She is nervous. She keeps asking, again and again, if she’ll be able to go to the toilet if she needs to during the short 45 minute play. I’m trying to find the strength to assure her and encourage her.
How did I end up home-schooling one child, with another at private school and a little toddler, so cute – but so wanting of more time with little toddler friends too. This is the path of my life and their lives. We make our choices and we live with them. Nothing is ever permanent, always in a state of flux. Gah… too much thinking!
Alice, meanwhile, is jumping around in toy princess heels and a p-jay top, happy in the bubble of a toddler’s world.
Deep breaths. All will be well. Time to get out the door. There are always things to be grateful for and things to love, no matter how small. My whole outlook is shadowed by tiredness. Another coffee will help! For that I am grateful 🙂
I’m still tired, but the day worked out okay. Sophie eventually braved up, with the wonderful encouragement and support of her home school friends, and ended up LOVING the wonderful performance at Capital E. One of her friends, a wonderful young girl, of wisdom and maturity beyond her years, had seen the performance before (and wrote a lovely review, which you can read here), and she talked Sophie through what would happen.
We enjoyed a lunch in the Botanic Gardens before driving round to Charlotte’s school, with Alice fast asleep in the car, to wait for the 3pm bell.
Sophie sat next to me reading a science book and answering the questions. She was great.
Charlotte had a good day and we got home with Alice still asleep and well rested for a Friday evening at home with her big sisters.
My friend Cyndi, that I met through blogging, posted up a fabulous link on Facebook this evening with the idea of ‘Book Spine Poetry on ‘100 Scope Notes‘. That set us off for the evening – flooding the hallway with books and stacking them up in different combinations to make poetry. Such a great idea.
Linking up with ‘Week in the Life | Friday‘