I don’t think you believed you were ready, your death has taken me by surprise. Every one says, ‘Ninety two is a marvellous age. It’s best she went so quickly, without having her independence taken from her for years on end.’ I know this is true and you will come to believe this too. But when I walked today and looked at the trees, the clouds and the ocean I couldn’t help thinking, ‘Are you seeing this?’. I haven’t seen you for three years and all this time I’ve thought of you every day, but in the living. Now I must get used to thinking of you in an ethereal way.
I do believe the spirit lives on, but in what form I am without conviction. Your passing has made me think deeply on this. Are you ‘on earth as in heaven’ living in a beautiful, spiritual world with your ancestors? Is your spirit yearning to return in a physical way to finish work you didn’t accomplish? Did the ‘age’ you lived in not give you the opportunity to reach your full potential? If so, where or when will you return? And in what form?
I often meet people that I have an instant connection with. Familiar faces. Conversations that flow with ease, as though we are friends of old. Occasionally, I meet people that challenge me and I wonder if we have unresolved issues from another life and are being given a fresh opportunity to move forward. Would I know you if I met you? Would it matter if I did not?
My mailbox will now be empty. The letters I have from you are now historical treasures. I must reach within my heart to feel your presence. Your spirit is in the air that I breath and the stars that I wish upon, the crash of each wave on the shore and the warmth of the sun on my being.
You have left a beautiful legacy of caring, loving people on this Earth. Your family values and devotion to others were forever without bounds. I know that you will always walk beside me and that each step I take is for future generations. I will always endeavour to make each step count. I love you, Grandma.
