The last time I hung out with friends…

over the age of 18 and in real life (as opposed to online) was a couple of weeks ago (for the first time in over a year!).

Post inspired by Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop:
Girls Night Out! Describe the last time you got to hang out with your friends? What stops you from doing this more often?

An e-mail invitation to a baby shower popped into my mailbox. I clicked it open thinking I’d probably have to decline, as I haven’t managed to get myself outside the front-door past 7pm since Alice was born (ahem, 15 months ago!).

I scanned the e-mail and my eyes met with the time of the gathering – 3pm on a Saturday afternoon. My heart paused, my fingers tapped thoughtfully on the mouse, my head whirled for a moment, whilst the reality sunk in, ‘I can do this!’.

A couple of weeks later the afternoon of the baby shower arrived. My husband had generously cancelled his game of soccer, to look after our three children, and he was delighted for me to be going out. He was insistent that I go.

I waved goodbye with a girlish giggle, clutching my tiny bag.

Once seated on the bus, just me and my tiny bag, I chided myself for feeling like a nervous 14 year old. My stomach felt like it was hosting a dance to a million butterflies. I was going into town for an afternoon, sans children!

My tiny bag screamed,

‘This is a non-Mummy bag destined for a fun afternoon!’

I only knew a couple of the ladies at the baby shower. It was all the more exciting to walk into roomful of women that I hardly knew. Many of them also mothers. There was a pulse in the air of freedom. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but felt like doing a happy jig when I saw the glasses of bubbles out on the table, as opposed to afternoon tea. I liked these women immediately!

The bubbles flowed, as did the laughter and conversation. I often think I’m fine in my little bubble of home and children (blogging, twitter and facebook…). A big part of me is quite introverted. I enjoy my own space and company. I can be quite hermit like. I get my kicks out of socialising in writing more than in person, I only enjoy talking on the telephone if it’s with my parents, sister or immediate family – or at least I ‘think’ I do and then I actually get out and remember what a great feeling it is to share laughter in person.

I really ought to go out sans children more often, but I doubt I will for a while. I remember my Mum being the same. She always put the her family first. It wasn’t till we were much older, packing up our bags to University, that she started to really put herself first. I love to see her paint now and hear about her games of table tennis, walks with friends and weekly Pilate work-out. She dedicated herself entirely to her children, her husband and later her job, as a primary school teacher.

Before becoming a Mum I was a grafter in every paid job I did. I would always strive to give my all and do my best. Now that I’m a Mum I have a very new role, which doesn’t pay too well 🙁 Nevertheless, I love it! I don’t pine for nights out and don’t have the energy for them right now.

The afternoon of drinks with a lovely group of women was extremely uplifting and I will do it again… in time… and that’s okay.

Right now my daily dose of lattes at my fav Wellington cafes figure higher than my need for bubbles late into the wee hours. Thankfully, I do have some great friends to sup coffee with… only we usually have a few little people to challenge the conversational flow 😉

And when I come home from an afternoon to this kind of welcome, of a smiling toddler, pressed rose petal artwork and drawings, I know why I find it hard to tear myself away…

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