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Being more Zen

Posted on April 15, 2009November 27, 2009 by BritMumInNZ

Dearest Charli, she is so sensitive (as was I as a child). Off we went for a hair-cut this morning. Sophie went first and let the hairdresser tease out her dreadlocks for an eternity (whilst watching a DVD of Maisy).

Charli’s turn. She sat up in the chair – clipped in for safety – it wasn’t till later she told me, in tears, that she wasn’t happy about that and felt like a baby – ah – the power of open communication is a valuable lesson. She was in my arms, grumbling about her hair-cut in front of the hairdresser (which wasn’t at all drastic and everything she’d previously agreed to!), whilst I paid and made a hurried exit (maintaining a calm and smiling presence… much thanks to Buddhism for Mothers!).

We headed off to Scorching Bay to enjoy the sunshine and hopefully brighten her mood. Alas, Charli is yet to learn to let the past go and not waist emotions on what has already happened, but to live in the present moment. Meanwhile, Sophie lives a very Zen like life (must have something to do with her chance encounter with a Buddhist monk when she was six month’s old!). She does get upset, but the emotions involved are short-lived and she quickly leaves the feeling behind and moves forth to the next moment. I reckon she has inherited this trait from her father – who never reads a self-help, new-age book, but just ‘knows’ it – a wise soul indeed!

Meanwhile, I am forever immersed in such books and emerge from them to talk earnestly to Dan, who looks at me with ever patient eyes and says, ‘Well, yes dear, of course, that is the way….’ he has definitely been on a few more life journey’s than me! I have had to learn the lesson of living in the moment and feel so much more adept at doing just that than I ever have; but Dan just ‘has’ it. Charli is so much like me as a child, but I know she’ll find her path. She so wants to please and do everything ‘just so’, which is admirable and yet she puts so much undue pressure on herself too. I trust and know she will learn to balance this – but, from my own experience, I know she won’t learn this over-night (I am of course forever learning!).

Anyhow, Scorching Bay – stunningly beautiful. Sophie delighted in sand-castles and climbing. Charli, happy to sulk and dwell on what had come before in the comfort of the car. I kept checking on her, trying to entice her to be in the moment and enjoy the gorgeous setting. But, she was happy, in her own way, to read books in the car and have some quiet time to dwell. She did perk up – eventually – by midday and Sophie simply understood Charli needed her space.

On our way home for lunch we pulled in at the Weta Cave (of Lord of the Rings fame) for a quick smooch around – where the girls posed happily outside with their new hair-cuts (nothing fancy – they can simply ‘see’ again!):

This afternoon we stopped in at Carlucciland again so that I could have a spin on the mini-golf – which is a must do if you happen to be passing!

We also pulled in at the recycling shop nearby and returned with a ton of bargains for $2 (as well as dropping off some stuff for recycling). Charli’s made up with her ‘Steps’ CD which she’s been happily grooving away to. With music and dancing she really does live in the moment!

This evening we are happily chilling out (I’d love to say I’m meditating and, in a red-wine tinged way I am – ha, ha!). Ever wise father is home with a Malaysian take-away as I really didn’t feel up to cooking anything other than toast! Peace be with you 🙂

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